{"product_id":"existential-pigeon-shaped-acrylic-keychain","title":"Existential Pigeon Shaped Acrylic Keychain","description":"\u003cp\u003eNobody knows where Existential Pigeon came from.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eLeast of all Existential Pigeon.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eEvery morning they awaken on a mysterious ledge somewhere in the universe and immediately begin asking questions.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWho am I?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhy am I?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhat is corn?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhy does everyone keep offering me bread when I have clearly stated my position on carbohydrates?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThese questions remain unanswered.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMostly because nobody asked.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eExistential Pigeon spends their days perched between dimensions, contemplating the nature of consciousness and occasionally forgetting why they entered a room.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhich is difficult, because pigeons don’t typically enter rooms.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis raises further questions.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eExistential Pigeon once stared into the void for three consecutive weeks.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe void blinked first.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOn another occasion, they achieved complete enlightenment, only to become distracted by a french fry in a parking lot and lose it immediately.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA tragic but relatable tale.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSome believe Existential Pigeon possesses knowledge beyond human comprehension.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOthers believe they flew headfirst into a sliding glass door and never fully recovered.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe truth likely exists somewhere in the overlap of those two circles.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eScientists have attempted to study Existential Pigeon.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eExistential Pigeon responded by asking the scientists whether atoms themselves experience loneliness.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe study was discontinued shortly thereafter.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis keychain is perfect for philosophers, insomniacs, artists, overthinkers, people who have ever stared at a ceiling fan for twenty minutes, and anyone who has suddenly become aware of their own mortality while standing in line at a grocery store.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWarning:\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMay cause spontaneous pondering.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSide effects include staring out windows, questioning reality, and developing strong opinions about the symbolic significance of abandoned shopping carts.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eExistential Pigeon would like you to know that none of us truly own anything.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNot even the pigeon.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eEspecially not the pigeon.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe pigeon is renting.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFrom whom remains unclear.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMaterial Description:\u003c\/strong\u003e Acrylic.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eProduct Size:\u003c\/strong\u003e 4cm, 5cm, 6cm, 7cm. Measurement of the longest side depends on chosen size.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDesign Area: \u003c\/strong\u003eSingle-sided design and double-sided mirrored printing.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePrinting Technique:\u003c\/strong\u003e UV Printing.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eProduct Performance: \u003c\/strong\u003eUtilizing advanced UV printing for high-definition graphics on both sides, these keychains feature smooth laser-cut edges and come equipped with a sturdy metal split ring for a premium feel and secure attachment.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eApplicable Scenario: \u003c\/strong\u003ePerfect as a versatile everyday accessory, these keychains serve as stylish bag charms, sentimental gifts, or high-quality collectible merchandise for fans and brands alike.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eWashing Instructions:\u003c\/strong\u003e To maintain the pristine finish, simply wipe the surface gently with a soft, damp microfiber cloth; avoid using abrasive cleaners or harsh chemicals.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eWarm Reminder:\u003c\/strong\u003e Due to variations in production batches, machinery and equipment, there may be small color, position and\/or size differences. These can be difficult to avoid and are considered normal phenomena, and will not be considered as cause for after-sales. Thank you for understanding the intricacies of the printing process.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eSpecial Note:\u003c\/strong\u003e Please remember to peel off the protective plastic film from both sides of the acrylic after delivery to reveal the crystal-clear surface and vibrant colors.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Big Love Club","offers":[{"title":"4cm","offer_id":45650915360821,"sku":"FyvMJQKucP","price":10.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"6cm","offer_id":45650915393589,"sku":"G2UjMk61N7","price":13.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0686\/7497\/7845\/files\/7f3d5e072a86f4cd773fe1b54263b4f1.jpg?v=1781813885","url":"https:\/\/bigloveclub.myshopify.com\/products\/existential-pigeon-shaped-acrylic-keychain","provider":"Big Love Club","version":"1.0","type":"link"}